In our society, there’s a strong taboo around talking about difficult feelings, and this is also true of a wedding and everything it involves.
From the proposal through the honeymoon, we’re expected to feel absolute ecstasy. And if it’s anything less than that, we’re told that something is wrong.
Nothing is wrong! Getting married is a big decision and can be a massive change for us.
It’s OK not to have the perfect proposal.
The sadness that accompanies a proposal comes as a great surprise, for these feelings are in opposition to how we’re “supposed” to feel.
Once we say yes to one person, we are saying no to other possibilities. For many people, this proposal begins their saying goodbye to the life they’re leaving behind.
This doesn’t have to be the happiest time of your life.
You may feel very anxious, stressed, and doubtful. Because this clashes with our culture’s obsession with always being happy, when the sense of the end of a chapter comes, the automatic response is to assume something is wrong. Once again, nothing is wrong.
A perfect wedding doesn’t mean happily-ever-after.
The wedding industry makes a lot of money by telling people that a perfect wedding will guarantee a successful marriage.
The belief is that if you cut corners on your wedding, your marriage is bound to fail. It’s not about the flowers, music, photography, or weather; it’s about honoring your commitment to nurturing your relationship. There isn’t a dress in the universe that can solidify that connection for you.
It’s strange that with every gain there also comes a feeling of loss when we’re changing ourselves and our lives. For many people this change can often accompany different priorities, meaning less time for family, friends, and things we care about.
After the wedding blues, it can be expected to feel sadness.
We’ve been planning for this one day for months, years, or even a lifetime, and as with any significant event, there’s a natural disappointment that occurs afterward.
We’ve walked through a vital starting point of life, and after all of the excitement fades, and the family and friends go home, we’re left with the empty, disoriented, lonely space. You’re no longer single and still new to marriage, and it’s normal to feel confused for a few weeks or months afterward.