40+ Poorly Designed Kids Toys That Are So Bad They’re Great

Some of the best (or worst — depending on how you look at it) examples of terrible toys come from Barbie knock-offs. It just seems like everybody hopes to recreate the absurd success of the beloved Mattel doll line, and obviously fails terribly at it.

These two attempts at fashion dolls somehow both fail in the exact same area. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul. So, if you can’t get those right, why would anyone want the rest of the doll, no matter how cute its outfit might be?

When it comes to terrible designs, the best (or worst) have to be knock-off toys — those unlicensed merch toys that were made in some far-off place where they probably know nothing about the thing they’re creating.

This Toy Story 5 Woody is the perfect example of that, especially since a fifth movie in the franchise has thankfully yet to be released. Nevertheless, this Sheriff seems more than ready to “destroy the forces of evil,” just as the box tells us.

Kids’ toys should always be happy and smiley. Otherwise, how would a child know that their toy is safe and inviting, right? Well, this little pig might have taken that happy expression just a little too far.

It really is almost adorable. But, thanks to those surprisingly uniform pearly whites, it’s a lot more menacing than any creature from the hundred-acre wood should ever be. We wouldn’t be surprised to learn that this version of Piglet just ate Tiger or Pooh.

Who doesn’t love a pizza with a bit of a kick to it? This pizza action figure, though, looks like it might just be ready to throw down an actual punch or two. It might even salami you right into the oven.

Although we usually absolutely love this Italian dish, we think we might steer clear of this specific version of it. This is definitely one food-related toy you don’t ever want to mess with.

Every kid has had at least one baby doll, right? Usually, that’s perfectly fine. They’re small, cute, and very clearly a toy. But, it seems that, as technology has improved, so have the photo-realistic skills of toy makers.

What we’re left with are these disturbingly realistic babies-in-a-box. Honestly, they look so lively that we want to free them all from those claustrophobic containers.

Knock-off manufacturers absolutely love targeting beloved major franchises, and Pokémon is definitely one of the most popular ones to weirdly copy. We can understand why — there’s a pretty good chance some confused parent would get their kid the non-licensed toy by accident.

This one is a uniquely adorable mistake. Although this chubby Pikachu looks more like a Snorlax (ask your kids what that means), it still looks extremely huggable and cozy, which is exactly what a plushie should be.

While we’ve gotten used to seeing movies that feature evil dolls who destroy anything and everything in their path, it’s not often that we get to watch an evil bear’s origin story unfold before our eyes.

Here we have the questionable honor of seeing exactly that, though. This maroon menace definitely looks like it’s plotting our demise right now. We don’t think we’ve ever been this terrified of a stuffed animal.

Working with kids isn’t all fun and games, and entertaining them is no walk in the park — even when it does entail an actual walk. Just ask any kindergarten teacher or child educator. Or perhaps, you could ask Thomas the Tank Engine’s cousin, Tuomasi.

This poor train certainly looks like he’s seen some things. With how horrified he appears to be, we’re not sure we’d want our kids (or ourselves) anywhere near him.

It’s pretty well-known that manufacturers take all sorts of shortcuts when it comes to getting their products on the shelves in the fastest way possible. Although it probably should be, it seems that toy manufacturing is no different.

At least, this long-legged bear can attest to that. Honestly, even with no torso or hands, it’s still an incredibly adorable teddy bear somehow. We might still take him home with us, despite his unique proportions.

This colorful toy jeep looks perfectly fun and non-problematic, right? Well, you might want to take another closer look at the side of its hood — right where it says “Austria” instead of what we can only assume should be “Australia.”

Misinformation like this is, of course, our biggest enemy when it comes to these failed toys. So, only because this might make some poor kid think Austria is filled with kangaroos and deserts, this car is going straight to the bin!

While some of these mistakes we can sort of excuse by bad planning or simply weird designs, this one feels weirdly sinister to us. Who the heck thought it would be a good idea to paint a koala thing as Mario?!

It’s just one of those things that the longer you stare at it, the more horrifyingly fascinating it gets. At this point, we don’t even know how we’re supposed to look away…

We know that clownfish are supposed to be funny. After all, that’s their intended profession, right? But, this terrifying version of them is no joke. It’s as if Nemo had a baby with a piranha, and these are the horrifying results!

Let’s just hope he’s not planning on munching on Dory or his dad. We never thought we would have to make sure of this but, can we just all agree that fish should never, ever have human dentures?!

Usually, these toys are terrible due to problems in the manufacturing process. It’s not usually the fault of a single specific human. But, in this case, we feel pretty confident blaming whoever hand-painted these nesting dolls.

The first two were apparently the only ones that mattered because the artist really didn’t bother with the last three Matryoshka dolls. They must have assumed nobody would ever actually see them. But, alas…

So, we’re pretty sure somebody actually handcrafted these, which is pretty impressive honestly. But, that also means this weird design was a conscious choice that the creator made — making it somehow worse!

Seriously, who would ever want to play with these freakish toys? We’re pretty sure Andy would have trashed Woody, Buzz, and the rest of the gang if they looked like this.

Most kids have some kind of comfort toy — an object that they can go to that makes them feel like they’re safe. It can come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, from teddy bears to night lights.

This light, though, is far from reassuring in the dark. Instead of sweet dreams, this Minnie will give you nightmares.

Don’t you just love manufacturing mistakes? This one is a particularly fun one. Because, at first glance, you can tell that something is off — but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is.

Then, the longer you look at it, the more horrifyingly hilarious it becomes. It’s definitely a cheeky detail that the manufacturer decided to add to their version of Pikachu. Just don’t stare too long at the red holes where its eyes should be.

This toy has a pretty funny story behind it — apparently, the guy who made this abomination was asked by their boss to make a plushie for the boss’ kids. What the boss forgot to take into account is that their employee can apparently only make monsters.

Honestly, despite how creepy it is, it’s still kind of weirdly cute. We bet the Franken-Bunny’s creator could make quite a fortune selling this monster to kids who actually like creepy things (yes, they exist).

Toys are not all fun and games! They can also serve a higher, more educational purpose — especially for nature-enthusiastic kids. At least, that’s what this National Geographic toy manufacturing partner wanted to do.

Too bad they got it completely, horribly wrong. It’s a real shame, too. This little arctic fox would have been absolutely adorable as a hugable plushie (although, we don’t suggest trying to hug them in the wild).

Winnie the Pooh — as an icon of all that is good and innocent in the world of childhood — should only ever be depicted in toy form as an adorable, chubby, lovable plushie. Every other version is completely unacceptable.

This cursed iteration of the beloved bear is definitely one of the most nightmarish versions of him that we’ve ever seen. We feel safe in assuming that this toothy predator has never once been interested in honey in his entire terrifying life!

As Billy Ocean so eloquently sang, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” In the case of this failed toy, it seems that when the Power Rangers are too frightened by their monster of the week, they call in the toughest of them all — Batman!

But, one Batman just isn’t enough. The caped crusader clearly needs his own League of Bat-People to win against whatever toy-foe comes their way. What we really can’t understand is why all the figures are green.

While in the jungle, it might be “eat or be eaten,” in the toy store, the rules of survival are just a wee bit different. For example, this bear — which has clearly undergone a horrifying mutation during manufacturing — might actually be more coveted now.

Because, despite his terrible disfiguration, he’s still absurdly adorable! Who wouldn’t want to be a friends with this cute abomination? We’d be happy to take him home!

While the issue with this toy is clearly the plastic eyes that just randomly detach from the rubber body, we think there’s a deeper problem. This toy is just all over the place with its design!

Both short and long spikes, those weird arms, and the strange choice of color — it’s just all so much. Honestly, the painted-on pair of eyes actually look better than the ones this purple creature originally had glued on before.

It seems that there are countless ways in which a Pikachu toy can be horribly reconfigured. This one, though, is certainly the strangest.

Honestly, this creation is so far from the beloved animated squirrel that it’s practically a whole new Pokémon. Also, we just can’t stop staring at that completely absurd tail! We can’t wait to watch Ash Ketchum catch this one next season.

Did you know that babies of nearly every species (human or animal) are purposely created to be adorable to us so that we (the adults) would be more likely to take care of them?

Clearly, this baby doll didn’t get that memo. This is one face we definitely don’t want to take care of, mostly because it looks like it might criticize us for every little mistake we make. Let’s not have fun together…

Everybody loves Elmo. But, it looks like Elmo doesn’t love everybody. Clearly, this is more of an issue with the packaging than the actual toy. However, as they say in sales, presentation is everything!

With the way this Sesame Street character is presented, we wouldn’t want him anywhere near a child. Although… it does seem like an effective toy at getting a kid to be quiet (and we’re not sure we care how it does that)…

What’s better than two separate toys of two beloved children’s characters? One toy that combines both of them, of course! Needless to say that this unholy combination brings together kids’ favorite obsessions — Patrick the Starfish from Spongebob Squarepants, and Despicable Me‘s yellow Minions.

While most of these plushies seem pretty pleased to be a hybrid creation, the one in the middle definitely looks a bit more skeptical. After all, being a Patrick-Minnion isn’t right for everyone. Maybe that one just wants to go back to living under a rock.

We’re pretty sure that the whole point of Pokémon was to make adorable creatures that kids would fall in love with and want to collect. This… abomination was certainly never part of the plan.

We have no idea who could possibly fall asleep knowing these are hanging out in their bedroom. Although, we’re sure there are at least a few teens that might like this grungy version of the characters.

This one is actually kind of ingenious. This little cactus has an adorable secret inside — when the outside gets ripped apart (by a rowdy kid or an over-excited dog), the inside has a sad baby plant there.

It’s clearly there to make you feel guilty for destroying it (which you definitely should be feeling). But, it’s also still incredibly cute. Now, we just really want to give it a big hug.

This ball is proof of exactly why something should never be carelessly thrown in with the laundry — unless you actually want your spots to shrink in the wash. Because, really, who would want to play soccer with a ball that’s only half-painted?

Someone at the ball-making factory is going to get a serious talking-to when the manager finds out about this calibration mistake. Or, maybe this is actually a unique ball that you’re supposed to finish coloring yourself?

Toddler toys basically split into two categories. There are the educational, anatomically-correct toys — and the silly, made-up creatures. This plushie, though, defies categorization. Is it a duck? Is it a four-legged friend? Nobody knows!

This definitely falls under the category of adorably creepy. Plus, we’re not really sure any baby should have this. Seriously, what toy designer thought that this creature would be a good idea?!

Can you spot all the strange things that plague these mouse soldiers? The most obvious, of course, is the overabundance of noses — and, yes, the longer you look at their faces, the weirder they get. But, there’s another strange thing about these figurines.

To anyone who has ever seen The Nutcracker, it should be pretty obvious. But, in case it isn’t — these guys are actually nutcrackers. The only problem is that in the original story, the rats are actually the Nutcracker’s enemies!

Have you ever seen a teddy bear in the toy store and just had the sudden powerful urge to pick it up and squeeze it in a tight hug? Well, that’s not going to be much of an issue with this strange toy.

On the one hand, its face definitely makes us want to comfort it. But, then you see the color of those terrifying eyes, or you take one look at the rest of it, and you don’t want to go anywhere near it.

Don’t you just love when your beloved childhood characters are turned into freaky creations by weird businesses in hopes that they’ll attract some gullible kids and their tired parents? Because we definitely don’t. Especially, when deformed looks like this.

It’s as if the people who created these poor creatures took the absolute bare minimum to make it look like Spongebob. Annoyingly, it actually worked, which is probably what disturbs us more than the actual rides.

It seems that horrible toys don’t just come from the surface of the earth, but also from the dark depths of the ocean. Or, at least that’s what this toy is trying to make us believe.

Until you see the fine print under the exclamation of “Totally Real!” — which reads “in your wildest dreams.” We’re not sure we’d ever want to dream about a mermaid that looks like this, but she might show up in our nightmares!

It looks like toy companies will turn literally everything into a toy. This time, they chose to create these weird action-plushies of AFL (the Australian Football League) players — because every kid’s wish is to cuddle a burly football player.

Obviously, though, the worst part of this toy is probably the way they decided to draw the player’s face. This design is just horribly unfortunate. We do just have to add that those lips are… impressive.

Crocheting is a beautiful art form. Babies are absolutely adorable. A toy that combines both of these wonderful things? Absolutely horrifying! Honestly, combining two amazing things to produce this creature of the night… well, it’s pretty impressive.

Besides, it does take some serious talent to crochet a design that’s this intricate. So, they at least get credit for that. Sadly, they lose quite a few points for creating a doll we’d never, ever want to cuddle.

At first glance, this toy looks perfectly fine (especially compared to everything else on this list). Unfortunately, this design still managed to fail terribly even without it being gross or weird. It really is a matter of identification.

Who thought it would be a good idea to write “plane” on what is clearly a helicopter? The only excuse we could give this poor choice is that whoever created this probably didn’t speak English and probably just did a quick Google search for words relating to aircraft.

Why is it, that whenever two twins appear in any kind of media, one is super successful — while the other is a complete and utter mess? This is one instance of art definitely not imitating life.

These two sweet lion plushies could not be more identical, except for the glaring manufacturing mistake that left one of them cross-eyed (literally).

These toys blend together two properties that are near and dear to every ‘90s kid’s heart — trolls and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The only problem is that these two really should never, ever go together.

We’d just like to address the biology in the room, that turtles don’t have hair! Okay, we know that’s a stupid point, considering these are mutant crime fighters. Still, this bugs us. Just leave our beloved turtles alone, please!

Honestly, we don’t where to even start with this monstrosity. It’s a bird? It’s a baby? There’s just so much going on here! With a bit of sleuthing though, we’re pretty sure that this is a DIY job — look at how the freaky yellow paint is chipping away.

Also, note the strange feather throne, the horrifying egg baby, and the terrifying beak. What we just can’t figure out is why would anyone in their right mind want to create this strange bird-person toy in the first place. We’re truly baffled.

Buying toys has never been just a thing for children. There are plenty of adults who enjoy collecting them — they just call them action figures or novelty items, and they leave them in their cases so that they don’t “lose their value.”

Yes, that’s super weird. Do you know what’s weirder? That the team behind The Lord of the Rings merch decided it would be a good idea to manufacture a collectible toy that looks like this. Was this really the best moment to capture forever in a toy?

Everybody adores the Monday-hating, lasagna-loving Garfield, right? Well, we’re not sure anybody would love him in this squashed state. The toy this person got definitely doesn’t look like the iconic grumpy cat.

Maybe stealing some of John’s donuts would help this Garfield plushie get back to his normal chubby self. But, in the meantime, this poster will just have to deal with having a sad and deflated cat.

Many kids struggle with toilet training, so it’s no wonder that there are so many toys and games for toddlers that are meant to help train and educate them on the process. Sadly, we don’t think this strange toy qualifies as a good teaching tool.

This little rabbit is certainly one toy we won’t soon forget. Because, honestly, who thought it would be a good idea to create a toy that discharged little glitter eggs? This is just so weird, and anatomically incorrect!

It feels like just about every person we know had a weird fascination with dinosaurs for a short time as a kid. The child who got this toy is no different — except, they’ve found themselves playing with the weirdest great lizard we’ve ever seen.

Not only is this creature incredibly gross in the best way, but it also looks like it’s completely grossed out by everything around it. Just look at how its little hands are positioned. Between that and his facial expression, all we hear is “UGH!”

Kids love dogs. Dogs love kids. It’s usually a match made in heaven. But, this horribly disfigured dog toy might make you rethink that idyllic relationship. We wouldn’t want this terrifying creature anywhere near our kids.

Amazingly, we’re not only distracted by the fact that this thing is about two-thirds bottom. Just look at those soulless black eyes it has, and the strange dark claws on its front paws. All those parts combine to make a highly disturbing figurine.