Garrett and Jason just pulled off their dream wedding: a Disney-themed nuptial to which guests came dressed as characters from their favorite Disney movie! Every single one of the guests, including their dog, dressed accordingly. Some of the costumes were truly special, but the show was stolen by Garrett and Jason, who dressed like Woody and Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story.
The couple met at a friend’s New Year’s Eve party, which they found out at the wedding was the same occasion Jason’s parents and grandparents met. What are the chances of that? Clearly, it was meant to be!
The couple’s first dance was a choreographed Latin-jazz version of Randy Newman’s “You Got A Friend In Me,” the theme song to Toy Story. To perfect the Disney-themed wedding, Jason and Garrett designed the table decorations by hand, which Jason said was his favorite detail of the wedding.
“We obsessed over every detail for the past year,” he said. “We used those classic Disney VHS clamshells to signify the table name and theme. We chose the VHS clamshells since we both had them and watched them so much they got wore out when we were kids.”
For the newer released movies that were not released to VHS, Jason designed the clamshells, especially for the occasion. But why Disney? It turns out Jason and Garrett were both Disney fans growing up. After they went on their first trip together to Disneyland, it grew into “an obsession,” as Jason describes it.
The couple also loves dressing up and throws an elaborate Halloween party every year. They also enjoy cosplay at Comic-con.
To signify the good, the bad, and everything else that comes with marriage, the pair “had a mixing of the mai tai.” This tiki drink cocktail is made from rum, Curaçao liqueur, orgeat syrup, and lime juice. The two are tiki drink enthusiasts and travel around the country, frequenting tiki bars.
Husbands and Wives Aired Out Their ‘Dirty Laundry’ In These Hilarious Tweets
The Real Meaning
This is a wise man, indeed. In general, women are perceived to be the softer and weaker of the two genders, but this is a misconception. Men are usually stronger physically, which may lead you to believe that they are scarier than women. This is a mistake, as any man who has gotten on his wife’s bad side will tell you. We know of no husband who doesn’t live in constant fear of his wife’s anger.
And Whose Fault Is That?
Men can no longer blame women if something’s not done around the house. While in the old days the housewife would be the one doing everything around the house and the man would be out hunting and gathering (i.e. working nine to five), this is no longer the case. Indeed, when you take into account the fact that nowadays women juggle a job and carrying kids to term, the lease a husband can do is pitch in and do half of the housework.
Just Being Helpful…
For a successful marriage to work, wives must get used to the fact that their husbands aren’t as good at functioning as they are. The tradeoff for this is that the husband needs to happily offer his services whenever the wife needs to get something off the top shelf and can’t reach it, for example. This wife seems to have taken things a bit too far and labeled the keys when she placed them on the table for him. Women, sometimes you can be silly.
Sharing a bed together is one of the best parts of marriage. Indeed, it is truly a wonderful thing to know that you have someone to cuddle with. When all is said and done, however, we all need a little break from time to time, even from that extra special person in our lives. Even if just for a few hours until he wakes up and groggily makes his way upstairs to the bed to crawl under the sheets.
As wonderful as the institute of marriage is, there are some things that should make you think twice before tying the knot. While the husband should be there to love and support his wife as best as he can, there are few things as unbearable as having freezing cold feet placed on your bare skin. Love and support can go far, and the line is crossed when it comes to sharing body heat in this fashion. For her part, though, what better use is there of a husband?
Glad You Believe In Me, Honey…
Sometimes you try to surprise your significant other, only to find your spouse surprising you instead. That’s what happened when this man came home early when he found out just how good his wife thinks he is at his job. He probably thought that she would rush into his arms; instead, she thought that he was laid off. Well, we suppose there are much worse things and surprising things your wife can say when you come home early.
Only in marriage can you reach the zenith of relationship goals. Indeed, as this man discovered, your wife can take your loving bond higher and higher than you’ve ever been before. They say the highest form of love is insanity; past a certain point, things just stop making sense. Here’s a tip for you men: when a woman tells you it’s up to you, don’t believe her. If she asks you what you want for dinner, tell her what she wants instead.
One of the perks of being married is having someone you can torture as much as you want, as this woman discovered. Wives have perfected the art of driving their husbands crazy, which is something very few will admit in public. This seems like a recurring theme with wives: make him think like he actually has a say in the matter. Haha! In the end, the wise husband has to just accept the way things are and be resigned to his fate.
Everything In Its Proper Place
Josh found out the hard way that his wife likes things to go where they belong, and not a second too soon. We can’t blame her, because even milk has its proper place. What’s that you say? You don’t put your milk in the same place every single time? The fridge is something you shouldn’t mess around with, especially considering how important it is to find things quickly when hungry. But what about Josh, what’s his proper place? Apparently, it’s inside a onesie.
Practically The Same Person
It’s really cute when couples complete each other’s sentences, but for them, it gets really old really fast. As for this guy, he thought he might be able to have some autonomy. Too bad. Sometimes one half of the married couple will insist that they are, in fact, a separate person from their spouse. That’s just a lie. Don’t believe them. And if you ever get contradicting instructions, just go by what the wife says. It’ll save both you and him a lot of trouble.
Lying Through His Chattering Teeth
We have to give it to this guy: he’s good. Indeed, the only way to survive your own marriage at times is to be skilled at lying. After all, this is just one of those things that women do. Maybe she’s testing his resolve. Maybe she wants to warm her hands. Whatever she would be about to do, it’s best for him to pretend like it doesn’t bother him, for his sake. As life-threatening as frostbite is, it’s not as dangerous as a wife getting ideas…
While women are sometimes hard to decipher, there are sometimes telltale signs. One of these is eating ice cream straight out of the container — this means she’s having a tough day and needs to gorge on ice cream to make herself feel better, obviously. If you see her doing this, it’s best to just stop in your tracks and back away if she hasn’t noticed you. If she has, then leaving might just make things worse. That’s just the way of women.
What Does That Even Mean?
When you spend too much time with another person, anything they do can get on your nerves. We’re just not built to tolerate another human being in such close proximity for that amount of time. Even your significant other’s healthy stream over on the other side of a closed door can get on your nerves. Everyone needs some time off to recharge their batteries, which is what we’d recommend this couple if we were their marriage counselor.
This is something so many of us can relate to, especially the men. Whenever you see your significant other beginning to do a chor you should have begun doing hours ago like washing the dishes and you realize that they’ve been piling up, you get that dread in the pit of your stomach. The only way you see out is with this little white lie, but she’s too smart for that. You’re just saving face because you were sitting on the couch, doing nothing.
Out of the many things that women are great at, two of them are knowing what needs to be done in the house and knowing the perfect response to any man’s attempt to getting out of work. Yes, men, women know you’re lazy and just trying to get out of work. For real, there’s always stuff to be done around the house and your wife knows it, regardless of which room you’re in. Actually, scratch that out — no matter which state you’re in!
In general, a couple who is married will share a bank account to split the cost of the mortgage or rent, groceries, etc. Because of this, the moment one is bonded in holy matrimony, monetary purchases and what you do with them become matters of serious debate. Often, one or both parties have to re-educate themselves, which is what this guy discovered he had to do. Thankfully he has a good woman as his wife to show him the way.
There Are Some Perks…
Not everything in marriage is miserable, however. All men wait for the day that they become fathers so that they can begin telling their own daddy jokes. As hilarious as they are, the rest of the family gets tired of jokes told in the same vein over and over again. Especially when it involved getting rid of the kids. We just hope these kids understood their father was laughing and aren’t too traumatized by his remarks!
Chances are this wife is sick and tired of both raising her kids and spelling everything out for her husband. She doesn’t need to be bothered in the middle of her work for this sort of nonsense. In addition to making sure things run smoothly in the house, she needs to work hard to make sure ends and afford nice things for the kids. On the other hand, this man knows that the only one who knows the answer to this question is his wife.
Man Of The House
Oh, marriage. As beautiful as it is to have finally found someone to love forever, forever gets old fast. Especially when you have to wake up to the last face you saw before going to sleep, day after day. Sometimes, it’s just too much. Traditionally, the man of the house has the final say in all matters pertaining to his home because he knows what’s best — and what’s best is letting the woman of the house do what she wants.
Important Ground Rules
As equal as this world has become, don’t fool yourselves, men. Just like this guy found out, on certain things it’s best to simply keep quiet, even if it really isn’t fair. You can be right and start an argument that you will surely lose, or you can be wise, keep your mouth shut, and keep the home happy. Once you realize this, you will be much, much happier. $593.27 is well worth it to keep your sanity.
Don’t Let The Love Die
The key to happiness in the home is keeping the laughter up between the husband and the wife. While it’s the man’s duty to begin making dad jokes the second the firstborn child pops out, it is the woman’s duty to joke about cashing in that life insurance check. Contrary to how it might come off for outsiders, how you know the love is still going strong when she openly discusses your departure from this world.
No one likes getting sick, but men are notorious for complaining and exaggerating their symptoms. Also called the man flu, women have lamented this annoyance in men forever. While it’s a nuisance to deal with someone else’s illness while you were able to function just fine while you suffered the symptoms, the science actually suggests that man flu is a real thing. The bodies of men and women are different, as are their immune systems. So when your man is sick, give him a break!
All Hail Lord Melbourne
Groundhogs are known to be quite a pest, as the tunnels they dig under your lawn can kill your grass and do a lot of money’s worth in damage. We can understand this woman’s husband wanting the rodent off of their property. That being said, groundhogs are also known for predicting the weather (for some ridiculous reason). They even have a national holiday. Seems like Annie here preferred to stay on the groundhog’s good side over her husband’s good side…
Women definitely have an easier time finding a partner than men do. No matter how you look at it, there is just so much gender inequality that results from the differences inherent to both men and women. Unfortunately for men, it’s just that much harder for them to find a partner, which this woman is using to make fun of him. She’s making sure he doesn’t forget that he can be replaced quite easily. To add insult to injury, she’s doing it in public!
Because Women Are Never Wrong
For the men who disagree, it’s best if you just accept this fact. It will make your life so much easier, and the sooner you learn this lesson, the better. Even if you’re absolutely sure that you’re right, don’t forget that it’s better to be smart than right. So even if you don’t see things her way, just smile, nod, and go with the flow. Because she has it in her to make your life quite unbearable.
Yes, Kit-Kats are one of the best chocolate bars out there. The delicious milk chocolate-gilded wafers are so good. But getting two for the price of one? Give me a break! That’s something that will really make your day. We really hope that the joy in Periwinkle Jones’s marriage lasted longer than enjoyment she got out of those two Kit-Kat bars! But we get her. If you can be married and have two free Kit-Kat bars, why not?
There are very few things in life that can get as heated as arguments over the air conditioner. Indeed, this conflict is as old as air conditioning itself, and it doesn’t seem like it will ever change. Men get colder than women do, and women get hotter than men do. The result is a never-ending state of belligerence over the thermostat. You can feel how tense things got just by reading this tweet. Let’s hope they managed to keep the peace, for both of their sakes!
We have no idea why Josh’s wife would even tell him that. Give the man a break, for goodness sake! He’s simply just enjoying an afternoon snack of gummy bears…45 all at once to be exact. Anyone with that many gummy bears in their mouth would have an issue speaking, so maybe we understand his wife after all. The more we think about this whole scenario, the more ridiculous it gets. Then again, Josh’s wife chose to marry him…
Marriage for Dummies
So, “Making Marriage Work for Dummies” may exist but we think it goes without saying that this book, or any book for that matter, can’t prepare you for all the different situations that could arise in your marriage. With that being said, it’s clear that Beth wasn’t prepared for noise when she got hitched. In comparison to some of her followers — whose marriages primarily consist of farting and snoring — we think it’s safe to say that Beth sort of lucked out here.
50 Shades of Life
So maybe it’s not the version you hoped for, Steph, but it’s certainly realistic! After all, it’s not totally unheard of for romance in marriage to fizzle out once in a while, especially if you have kids. Stephanie is actually a mother of six children — holy moly! Now not only does it make sense as to why she’s sorting through an obscene amount of socks but also why her husband is passed out. That, and the fact that Stephanie posted this Tweet at 4:30 in the morning. Perhaps you should get some sleep, momma bear…
Buddy’s Big Day
Gosh, Karen! Why can’t you understand that this is a really big day for Buddy? Floyd is just trying to be the best dog dad he can be. Considering the fact that Buddy is totally rocking his tuxedo, we think it’s safe to say that it wasn’t a stupid purchase at all. Don’t you want your son to look good? After all, you know what they say — children really are a reflection of their parents so you really should be thanking Floyd.
Now, this is what we call the ultimate ‘dad joke.’ From the sounds of it, though, this isn’t the first time Max has made this joke. It may have been funny the first few times but at this point, Max’s wife is pretty fed up and close to calling it quits. We just hope for the pun master’s sake that he didn’t actually lay out every single mug they own on the front lawn…again. Although, he is sipping his morning coffee from a bowl, so…
Friday the 13th
In all honesty, this one had us cracking up. If this is really what marriage looks like, it can’t be that bad. While Josh’s wife may have screamed bloody murder after he snuck up on her like Jason from Friday the 13th only to ask her if they ran out of Cheetos. The worst part? Josh’s leading lady probably told him that they still have another bag to which he replied, “But I couldn’t find them in the pantry!” when the snack was really right in front of his face the whole time.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Marriage
Let’s be real, people — Amy poses a very good question; one that anyone with a significant other can relate to and has probably thought about more than they’d care to admit. According to one of Amy’s Twitter followers, “anything over five minutes” is totally fine. “Oh, and ignore any knocking or screams.” Okay, so maybe @dmv501’s advice is a bit unsettling but at least Amy now knows the acceptable time to wait before unpausing a show whether or not her husband returns, which we’re hoping he does…
Sharing Is Caring
While we can understand where Keith is coming from, he has to understand that sharing is just a part of marriage. That means if his wife wants a cracker and cheese, she will get that cracker and cheese. And sure — Keith’s tweet makes it seem as though he didn’t actually share the snack with his wife but we all know he did because that’s what husbands do. We bet that all she had to do was bat her eyelashes at Keith and he probably gave her the whole plate…
Couples That Snooze Together Stay Together
Well, people, there you have it. From the sounds of it, Cameron married his dream girl and he’s definitely never letting her go. If we’re being honest, he and his wife are relationship goals. Whether you’re the kind of person to snooze your alarm a million times or the type to pop right out of bed as soon as it goes off, it’s important to find someone who’s on the same wavelength as you. After all, could you imagine if Cameron married someone that hated snoozing the alarm? That girl would be in for a rude awakening…
Face Moisturizer = Commodity
If Twitter user @AnkCoupleTO knew just how expensive his wife’s face moisturizer is, we guarantee he wouldn’t actually be using it as body lotion regardless of the fact that it makes his skin glow. In any event, PunchyK is lucky enough to have his wife and fellow Twitter user @whimsik_l around to teach him the ways of life. If it weren’t for her, the guy would probably be using hand soap as shampoo and laundry detergent as body wash.
I’m Not Mad!
Oh man — it looks like Lurkin’ Mom’s husband is in the doghouse and understandably so! He should have known better. Men can’t seem to grasp the fact that just because their significant other tells them one thing doesn’t mean it’s true! After years of marriage, you’d think that Twitter user @LurkAtHomeMom’s hubby would be able to read her mind by now. Obviously we’re just kidding around but we think it’s safe to say that this tweet is relatable to couples from all around the world.
Adding Fuel to Fire
We’re not entirely sure what’s wrong with Big Bang Theory but we can understand where David is coming from considering that we’ve all had those long nights of being forced to watch something that we frankly don’t want to. While we can assume that David is joking around, we also can’t help but feel that he’s just a bit traumatized if he would go as far as to let his house burn down with his wife inside.
Show ‘Em Who’s Boss!
Well, it looks like Mommy Owl figured out how to show who wears the pants in this relationship. If you want to establish dominance in your marriage, the important thing to remember is to maintain eye contact the whole entire time. We repeat — do not break eye contact. If you do, then all bets are off. Next thing you know, you’ll look over to find your significant other unplugging your phone from the charger to plug theirs in.
’Expert’ Level Completed
We think it’s safe to say that Sarcastic Mommy here found herself a keeper. Despite the fact that she says one thing, her hubby knows that she means the complete opposite. Perhaps Twitter user @LurkAtHomeMom’s husband could learn a thing or two from this guy considering that he’s reached ‘Expert’ level in his marriage. In any event, there’s nothing better than spending your life with someone that knows you better than you know yourself. Now, that’s what we call couple goals!
Keeping Your Marriage Alive
What can we say? Ashley certainly knows the way “to keep things spicy” in her marriage. There’s really nothing like keeping the romance alive no matter what your version of that is. For Ashley, well, it sounds like her husband isn’t a very hard man to please just as long as she’s wearing a pair of fancy socks with rad designs and a squeaky clean shirt. Sure — she may stain her shirt again while eating dinner but it’s the thought that counts, right?
Excuse Me, Please
Let’s be honest — anyone in a relationship can totally relate to Twitter user @copymama’s post. If this is what marriage essentially is, though, then you should probably think twice before getting hitched. If you do end up getting married, then just prepare yourself to say “excuse me, please” every other minute for the rest of your life. From the sounds of it, SpacedMom has to move her hubby out of her way far more than she’d probably like to admit.
Don’t Push Your Luck
Honestly, Alex, don’t push your luck. This little plan of yours could totally blow up in your face if you aren’t careful. How? Well, there are quite a few different ways but we’ll just stick to a couple of scenarios. (1) Your wife could easily steal your plan and use it against you. (2) You might just catch her on the wrong day, meaning that you’re either a dead man or your marriage is over. No matter how you look at it, your wife wins…
Whether we’d like to admit it or not, we’ve all been in Jennifer’s position. You have some strange dream about your significant other betraying you and you wake up absolutely livid. While it’s not technically their fault you dreamt about that, you can’t help but feel some anger towards them hence why Jennifer’s still waiting for her hubby to say sorry. From the sounds of it, he must have done something pretty bad in Jennifer’s dream to have to owe her an apology.
We have to say, this is really something her husband should have learned long ago. The division of labor between husband and wife is never completely equal in real life, but we feel that this is something he should have made an effort to learn long ago. To be fair, loading those dishwashers can be tricky! For something that is intended to make our lives much easier, it just complicates things even worse when you don’t know how to load it properly.
If there’s one thing that every kid knows, it’s that particular brand of fear you get when your mom gives you the death glare. Women eventually forget this fear, but men get it later when they get the feeling when their wives give them that glare. Even if he isn’t on laundry duty as a general rule, this guy was right about to make a schoolboy error. Looks like he exercised some quick thinking and got himself out of a truly terrifying situation.
Luckily For Him…
Sometimes you can get so tired of your significant other that you begin seriously considering dealing with them in a truly unconventional way. Things start off all happy, and you’re more than willing to compromise for peace in the house. But it doesn’t take too long before you start to see things differently. Indeed, guys are lucky because the laws we have in place that punish murderers aren’t enough to protect them from their wives; this is the only thing keeping her from his throat.
She Must Have Radar
With some exceptions, the woman is generally the one who knows where everything is in the home. Women have an uncanny ability to notice the things that go completely over the heads of men. Maybe if men spent just a little bit more time cleaning and organizing around the home they wouldn’t have this issue. Kudos to this wife who sacrificed coming into work on time to help her husband locate whatever it was that was under his nose.
Something You’ll Never Understand
One thing that men will never, ever understand is how hard it is to give birth. Indeed, taking pain like a man is nothing compared to taking pain like a woman, and this man’s wife figured it was a good time to remind him of this fact when he was in a full body cast. This is a match made in heaven right here: the wife is by her husband’s side, through thick and thin, just to remind him how much worse she has it.