The 6 Universal, Unconditional Duties Of Being A Bridesmaid

Becoming a bridesmaid is the most exciting thing – not including becoming a bride, of course. But that doesn’t mean that it comes without a price. When it comes to weddings, bridesmaids are much more than just moral support and beautiful sidekicks for the bride…

A bridesmaid has a job to do – many, in fact. It won’t be easy. But for the ones we love, we want to do everything we can. And occasionally, we need to say no to the things that we simply can’t. But knowing the difference is key.

So, brides and bridesmaids alike, take note: here are the responsibilities that it’s fair and not fair to ask of a beloved bridesmaid…

bridesmaid
The 6 Universal, Unconditional Duties Of Being A Bridesmaid

1. Buy a bridesmaid dress

Brides should first get the budget of their bridesmaids, and then everyone should cooperate to find a dress that is within reason. The budgets should average out to make sure that everyone is comfortable.

2. Get to that wedding

If it’s not a life or death situation, a bridesmaid must find her way to that wedding – and almost as importantly, the rehearsal.

3. Speak at the reception if requested

Whether it’s the rehearsal dinner or the wedding itself, this is your chance to let your friend know that this occasion is a happy one for everyone who loves them as well. If public speaking is truly an issue, you can let her know – she should know you well enough by now to approve the special request, or not.

4. Help plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party

Though the maid of honor is in official charge of the parties, bridesmaids are expected to participate in the brainstorming, planning, paying – and partaking!

bridesmaid
The 6 Universal, Unconditional Duties Of Being A Bridesmaid

5. Help the bride with dress-shopping and other wedding-related tasks

A bride shouldn’t ask a dozen girls to all help with every little thing, but each person should be a team player for some phase of this wedding planning. When it’s your turn, make sure you prioritize your friend – she needs all the help she can get!

6. DANCE!

Unless there’s a death in your immediate family or you go into labor, your butt better be at the ceremony and reception, and you better be dancing. (At the latter, not the former. That would be awkward.) Sometimes a mellow crowd needs a few “sympathy dancers” to hit the dance floor and get the party started. The wedding party should always be a part of that group.

Being a bridesmaid can be on the expensive side…but hey, so can being a woman.

People Who Woke Up The Next Morning Regretting The Tattoos They Got

Marilyn Mon-WHOA

The only saving grace to this atrocious depiction of the 1950s icon is the consolation that it’s hidden under clothes for most of the year. On those beach days when the tattoo of Marylin Monroe is exposed, however, it’s doubtful that many people can guess who this person is even supposed to be. It looks like her eyes are melting down her at different speeds as she screams in pain and agony. What a terrible tattoo!

Marilyn Mon-WHOA

Looking Like A Looney Toon

This is a horrible tattoo that succeeds in making someone awesome look foolish. At least you can tell who was being drawn, though, as the drawing has a set of teeth just like Freddie Mercury had and it’s hard to get him confused with anyone else. Surely many fans of Queen have had Freddie Mercury tattooed on their body at one point in their lives, but this might just take the cake for the very worst tattoo made of the rock singer.

Freddie Got Fingered

Selecting Selfie

As far as accuracy is concerned, the tattoo artist did a pretty good job of recreating the source material given to them by the client, who wanted a picture of this lovely lady on their body forever more. But unfortunately, when shown what the person looks like, the artist took a literalist interpretation. Now the client’s body is marred with an image of a woman pouting her lips for a duck face selfie while she’s holding a camera.

Selecting Selfie

Gross Caricature

We couldn’t find the source material for the tattoo on the right, so we put a picture of an actual tiger on the left for reference. At first, we had no idea what we were looking at, but then we saw the eyes. Instead of coming off as fearsome, this caricature of one of nature’s most dangerous creatures looks comical. It looks like a 10-year-old drew it. In fact, I think I know 10-year-olds who can draw better than this.

Gross Caricature

Lost In Translation

Getting inked in a foreign language is really cool, especially when no one understands the script. Calligraphy is an art form that has developed independently in so many languages, so there is a wide range of aesthetic styles to choose from. Just make sure that if you do happen to run across someone who understands the script you elected to have on your body for the rest of your life, that they think it’s cool, too, and not stupid.

Lost In Translation

Four Eyes

Tattoos are either awesome or they make you look like an idiot. Somewhere in between are tattoos that look so hilarious they straddle the line between brilliance and embarrassment. Getting a face tattoo is generally a bad idea…but did this guy just pull it off? You may need to look twice to notice he isn’t wearing glasses. Maybe nobody told him that getting glasses tattoed on his face won’t permanently fix his vision.

Four Eyes

Snake Charming

We have to give it to the tattoo artist for this one for seriously impressing us with how they displayed their artistic skill. The client, though, could have chosen a better pattern to adorn his leg. Imagine sitting at a table, having a nice conversation. Next thing you know, someone glimpses the scaled skin on your leg and thinks that there is a deadly snake waiting under the table to eat him or her. Do you really want to be scaring everyone off?

Snake Charming

Cheaper Than The Gym

Gym memberships can run in the thousands of dollars a year, depending on how awesome your gym is. Why spend all that money — week after week, year after year — when you can just have those muscles tattooed? This smart guy figured out this hack. After his one-time payment, he won’t have to struggle endlessly to lift successively heavier weights ever again. No more working out in the cold and rain to maintain this perfect beach body.

Cheaper Than The Gym

It’s What?

This is just a guess, but we think the intended phrase was “it gets better.” Imagine needing an inspiring message on your skin to remind you that things will eventually improve, so you decide to go out and get a tattoo. Only thing is, you’ve ironically made things worse by getting a mistake tattooed on your arm. But hey, maybe the client can take this as a reminder that, no matter how bad things are, it’s better than the moment they realized they marked themselves with an error

Does It?

Hoop Is Lost

Getting words tattooed can be awesome or really dumb, depending on what you want to have written on your body. In this case, the message is a really good one, but the execution is really bad. At least they remembered the I before E rule and spelled “believe” correctly. Soon after, though, the artist forgot how to spell “yourself.” That’s not even the only mistake made unless the client is a professional hula hooper who keeps on losing equipment.

Hoop Is Lost

Always Watching

The benefit of having a tattoo like this is you can always just refrain from shaving your head for a week and no one will ever guess that you have a tattoo on your scalp of a green-eyed man in distress. Additionally, any time you want to emphasize the eyebrows, you can. As long as he doesn’t lose experience any hair loss in the regions that have been inked, he’ll be ok. Otherwise, he’s another guy who made a terrible decision on his tattoo.

Always Watching

Not Even One?

It’s important to live life to the fullest instead of living a life most foolish. If this person had no regrets before entering the tattoo parlor and getting this tattoo, he surely has “regerts” now that he has been permanently marked with such a glaring spelling mistake. How do people not take enough of an interest in what will be on their body for the rest of their lives to just look down and make sure it’s spelled correctly?

Not Even One?

Nice To Meet You, Dave

In the movie Memento, a man with a memory condition tattoos himself so he can remember important information, such as his name. This isn’t the case with Dave, who will remember the day he got his own named tattooed on his body for the rest of his life. Dave’s a funny guy who has a way with words. Dave is also a guy who lost a bet and ended up paying the price. Let’s just hope he didn’t need to pay for the tattoo itself.

Hi, Dave!

Don’t Get Lost

This isn’t something you’d expect to have to consult an atlas to figure out. Knowing where the four cardinal directions are located is pretty basic stuff, but this tattoo artist only got one out of the four correct. The truth is unless the artist showed the client a completely different sketch, the client is just as responsible for this as the artist, who should really choose another profession because the lines aren’t even straight. What an embarrassment!

Guiding Way

He Never Said That

Jon Bon Jovi is the front man for his eponymous band, Bon Jovi. The band had a major hit with their 2000 anthem “It’s My Life.” In the song, Jon Bon Jovi declares that he will not listen to others who try to influence life decisions he made for himself. Life decisions, perhaps, like getting a quote tattooed without checking spelling and grammar. As if that’s not bad enough, this fool even misspelled the name of the artist the quote is attributed to.

He Never Said That

Turtle Shell Head

Here’s another example of someone that decided to be creative with his tattoo and put it on his scalp. Anytime he wants it hidden, he just needs to let his hair grow out. But what if he suffers from male-pattern baldness later in life? Indeed, this isn’t the smarted idea for a tattoo, as there are some parts that can’t be covered always. In addition, the tortoise’s head is facing his back and his rear end is facing forward for the man…

Turtle Shell Head

Varicose Vader

This is pretty shoddy work for a variety of reasons. For one, the lightsaber looks more like a baseball bat in the tattoo. It looks like a baseball player in a cape and a mullet spilling out of his helmet coming up to bat. In addition, some of the lines are so faint they look more like incidental varicose veins the artist incorporated in their drawing and drew around. We hope the client at the very least got his money back.

Varicose Vader

So… Give Up?

While it is true that at one point double negatives were accepted characteristics in the English language (look no further than William Shakespeare), the fact is convention eradicated double negatives in standard English hundreds of years ago. “Never don’t give up” is equivalent to “always give up,” if you think about it. Not trying to be mean here, but giving up is just what this guy does whenever it comes time to hit the gym and put in a workout, judging by his underdeveloped biceps.

So… Give Up?

The New York Yankees

There isn’t very much difficult about doing this tattoo. All that needs to be done is put a capital N over a capital Y, but this underqualified tattoo artist couldn’t even do that properly. The tattoo is supposed to be of one of the most recognizable logos of an athletics organization in the world, yet it looks like a liberal interpretation of the heptapod extra-terrestrials from the movie Arrival. None of the lines are even straight.

The New York Yankees

Fear Les

It’s possible the person’s name is Les and they’re warning people to fear them. It’s also possible Les is someone else that needs to be feared. But why put a heart after the warning? It makes much more sense for the tattoo client to have just made a gross error in writing “fearless,” which wasn’t caught by the artist. It’s almost like they thought the word had only one “s” and needed the heart to take the place of a letter on the last finger.

Fear Les

Accessorizing Your Birthday Suit

As far as tattoos you’ll regret the next day are concerned, this guy might have won the competition. It might have sounded like a great idea to get rainbow-patterned suspenders on his upper body when he went to the tattoo parlor. He probably thought he was clever for remembering to tattoo his fingers too, so now he can make it look like he’s snapping his suspenders. Too bad this is a joke he will have to carry for the rest of his life.

Hardee Har Har

An Inaccurate Representation

The tattoo artist really messed up with this one. Instead of creating a shrine on someone’s body for this lovely women, the artist botched up the whole tattoo by making her look like some sort of monster from a horror movie. All the kids on the block run away in fear when they see the person with this tattoo walking down the street. We hope the lady in the picture never finds out someone thinks this is how she looks.

Such An Accurate Representation

Beastly Baby

Just a tip if you want to get a tattoo: if you have a photograph of someone’s face you want to have tattooed, make sure the tattoo artist’s stencil work is accurate before allowing him or her to eternalize the image on your skin. The person who got this obviously felt so close to the baby that they wanted the image of the infant on their skin. You can’t get any closer than that. Unfortunately, the artist’s interpretation was quite off the mark here.

Beastly Baby

Ugly

Perhaps the most important tattoo rule is to make sure the artist inking you up is good at his or her craft. While beauty is in the eye of the beholder, there are some minimum demands. Whatever animal or creature this thing is supposed to be, however, falls far short of this set of minimum demand. Is that a T-rex? A dragon? It’s so bad, people aren’t even sure what they’re looking at. At least there is always the option of getting the tattoo changed.

Creature From Another Planet

Meat Fairy and The Sausage Link Explosion

For the carnivores among us, meat is a wonderful and delicious thing. From hot dogs and hamburgers to barbeque pork ribs and ribeye steaks, there’s a lot to love about meat in all kinds of vehicles, which can border on the level of obsession. But while obsession is one thing, getting a meat-themed tattoo- complete with what appears to be a ham hock fairy- is another thing entirely.  We just wonder what happens when one day this girl wakes up and decides to go vegan.

Meat Fairy and The Sausage Link Explosion

Hello Goth Kitty

It’s pretty plain to see that, to put it lightly, this fellow has a preference for defying convention. From his hairstyle of blue braids ornamented with what looks like plastic baby dolls, to his thick black eyeliner, to his neck tattoos which seem to feature Pac-Man, this person is not trying to shy away from a statement – even though we can’t seem to figure out quite what that is. His decision to tattoo Hello Kitty onto his forehead, then, actually comes as no surprise.

Hello Goth Kitty

Check It Off The Arm

Now we have to admit, this isn’t the worst tattoo we’ve ever seen. In fact, it could be pretty useful in theory. Whenever you don’t have a pad and paper, you could just write your to-do list on your arm. But if you really wanted to write memos on your arm, would you really need this list format with lines? Like, couldn’t you just write it? Also, we suspect that in the future when pens and paper are completely obsolete, this person will feel pretty silly…

Check It Off The Arm

We’re Sensing A Trend

This lady must have seen the meat-themed tattoo above and decided to take it one step further and get a little bit more specific. This tattoo features an anatomical diagram of all the cuts of meat one can get from a pig. It’s by far one of the most quizzical things we have ever seen someone tattoo onto their body forever. Maybe this woman will regret this tattoo one day, and maybe not… but one thing is for sure – she will never forget where pork loin comes from.

We’re Sensing A Trend

TattooOnYourForehead.com

It looks like this lady was really quite desperate to advertise her website which – just to save you the trouble of finding out yourself – is for online gambling. This is probably one of saddest uses of the human face we have ever seen, and one of the weirdest as well. Like, couldn’t you have just worn a t-shirt with the same text on it? Did you really have to ink it into your forehead? One thing is for sure, though: if she was trying to make an impact through shock value, it definitely worked.

TattooOnYourForehead.com

Mona Lisa Smile

Have you ever looked at a photo of a loved one and thought, “I could look at you forever?” Well, unfortunately, whoever got this tattoo needs to look at this forever. We’re not sure who the tattoo artist (if you can actually call them that) but someone should take away their license. Everything in this tattoo is off from her bangs to her bracelet, and the longer we look the worse this gets. Our condolences go out to this person’s arm. We’re sorry you have to live with this forever.

Mona Lisa Smile

Why So Serious?

We never understood why people are afraid of clowns – but after seeing this face tattoo, we get it. We’re not sure what this guy was going for but we totally understand why he isn’t smiling. Imagine waking up every morning and having to look at this in the mirror. Lucky for clowns, they usually wear makeup over their faces. So, if this guy isn’t a clown already – he might want to consider changing professions.

Why So Serious?

What Do You Meme?

Memes have become a major part of modern culture – so much so that people have been tattooing them. Most meme tattoos are funny and have become seemingly timeless. We can’t really say that about this one. To be perfectly frank, we can’t tell what part of the body this is but we hope it is an area that is easy to hide. We’re guessing this was supposed to be funny and we don’t really understand exactly why – we’re not laughing…

What Do You Meme?

Eminem & M & M

If there’s any tattoo on this list that can pass for being darn good, it’s this one. First of all, it actually looks like Eminem, who is quite possibly the greatest rapper of all time. Second, the artist displayed enough aptitude to juxtapose the rapper’s head on a cartoon M&M body and make it look good. Not only is this funny, but it also displays the deft way the artist executed an idea given to them by the client. Good work!

Eminen & M & M

He’s Lovin’ It – A Bit Too Much

We can all appreciate the fact that for many people, fast food equals comfort and convenience. And it’s no coincidence that McDonald’s is probably the most widely recognized fast-food chain in the world. But for whatever reason, this fellow felt the need to get a receipt from one meal he had at McDonald’s permanently etched into his forearm. Maybe there’s some mysterious significance to this tribute – we can’t say. But we’re pretty sure whoever this guy is, he’s already regretting this.

He’s Lovin’ It – A Bit Too Much

When Technology Goes Too Far

We’d be the first to acknowledge that technology, including the invention of certain high-powered search engines, has improved our lives in many ways. But this guy took it to a whole new level when he decided to make his love of Google readily apparent on his arm. Let’s just hope that in a few years’ time, when technology has fully taken over every aspect of our lives and even our bodies, that this tattoo won’t become literally true.

When Technology Goes Too Far